The Ever-Transforming Body
When I first started taking hormones to transition into a more feminine body I was prescribed a low dose of Spiroloctone, a testosterone blocker, as well as an estrogen patch to begin the three-year journey. One of the most jarring aspects of the way this journey was described to me was that I would lose muscle, become weaker, and experience fatigue. When you're desperate to fit into the body that matches who you are inside, this trade-off becomes the central obsession in your life. I took the plunge thinking that all the athletic and active motivation that had always been a part of who I was at the core would be sacrificed. I was wrong.
My first instinct was to stop my leg workouts. My knees felt achy from all the running I did in the Army and my ankles were achy because of some old sprains. I thought that I would become a more sluggish version of myself as my body changed into a more womanly form. I imagined myself in the unfortunate circumstance of never being able to squat, lunge, or do any other type of leg exercise again. For a short period, this became a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Never Quit
When I began to work on my fitness transformation with Ngo Okafor at Iconoclast Fitness my legs begged me to reconsider. "Think of your knees," the defeatist voice in my head prompted. Long-distance running and ruck-marching for 8-10 miles with 30 lbs. on your back will create tension in your knees that will lead to pain, as many veterans of the military know. Ngo was keen to notice how this tension was interfering with my form, and by extension my mind as I trained. He reminded me that women and men gather fat in different places. His efforts with me, as I continue my training, has involved picking up where I had left off before I tried to give up. I would have to focus on my hips, stretch to avoid fascia-related pain in my knees and return to the squatting and lunging. But most importantly, relax.
My last session was a gentle reminder that just because you're smaller and have a more feminine shape does not mean that you have to throw the baby out with the bathwater and avoid giving your training your best effort. Ngo has adjusted the way that I train to make the areas that will be impacted by my transition align with the fitness transformation. This does not mean that you have to be in the same boat that I sail to reap the benefits of Ngo's training. It means only that we all have different bodies and we all encounter changes as we age. Iconoclast is dedicated to leaning into the type of training that is right for you and your body. Take a tour of the gym today.
Don't live in New York? No problem, check out Ngo's book 28-Days-Greater today!
Writer Edwina Ulises (she-her-hers)
Edwina Ulises is a motivated transgender web-developer, blogger, and entrepreneur based in NYC. Her passions include code, technology, fitness, writing, music, meditation.